6 Common Spooks surrounding Self-Care
Why is self-care such a scary topic? Why is it hard to believe in myself? Why is self-care hard?
Hi lovelies, so we are entering the spooky season! The time for thrills and chills! The Halloween season is typically full of laughter, tears, fears, excitement, pumpkins, fall festivals and so much more! October is such a thrill! So, my gift to you this October is to normalize the scariness of self-care!
Is Self-Care Easy?
Self Care is definitely not all rainbows and sunshine! A person who informs you that self- care is easy to obtain is lying to you. Self-care requires challenging yourself, reframing your mindset, and defining your own meaning of self-care to obtain the happiness and self-awareness you wish to snatch. Also, just like any routine, self-care habits come and go like a ghost, the wrong routines suck you dry, and the lack of self-care has you becoming a different person at midnight ;] Also, we typically fear any unknowns in our life, and self-care is definitely one of those right?
So you are not alone in your feelings about self-care. It is talked about all over social media and people are throwing the word around without any direction for the people who are confused, skeptical, overwhelmed, and afraid. In order to tackle self-care, we need to know which category do you fall in.
Let us dive into some common spook (scares) of self-care and why it seems so scary to step out on ourselves!
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1: Self-care is too expensive! $$$
Hmm possibly depending on how you go about it, but you do not have to be rich to love yourself. Self-care is not just for the rich. It is for all of us who are trying to rejuvenate, grow, improve, enhance, progress, and rest. No matter your socioeconomic status self-care is attainable for you! For example, working out, sleep, hiking, bubble bath, walking, bike riding, meditating, cooking at home with what you have, drawing, binging your favorite shows are all free for you to do and they count as self-care!
If you do enjoy getting pedicures, manicures, waxing, massages, and such I suggest creating a budget and put some money aside for it 😊 I put aside money each month for my waxing appointments because it is a must for me! Haha
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2: Self-care is time-consuming.
Honestly, yes, it can be but it is also not a waste of your time because you are spending it on yourself. Are you not worth the time? Everyone else is not more important than you. So instead of spending yourself on others pour that back into you. You will thank yourself. When you are loving yourself, time on yourself because priceless!
Also, this is why I want women to understand that self-care can take as little as 15-20 minutes a day. Think about that the time and place where you have the most time to yourself. Keep in mind this is the time you have the most undistracted time to yourself. If you do not have it you must schedule it for yourself or incorporate it during your shower, bath, doing your hair, as soon as you wake up etc there are many places and times where you actually do have 5-20 minutes to dedicate intentional self-care time.
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3: Self-care is confusing, where do I start?
You know I can definitely see where you are coming from. So many people say just do it but how? This is honestly up to you and what makes you happy. Take about 5-10 minutes for yourself and brainstorm what makes you happy. Think about the different activities you have done in your life and see which ones spark joy… did you smile at a thought? Jot it down my dear.
Self-care does not have to be confusing. It is all about doing things that make you happy and rejuvenate your soul. Once you have jotted a few things down think about ways to incorporate them into your life, schedule “me time” each day for yourself. It can be 5 minutes, it can be an hour, it is up to you, the sky is the limit when it comes to self-care.
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4: “I am not worthy of Self-Care.”
Now, this is an internal battle. You may feel that you don’t deserve it. Who are you to give time to yourself? “I’m too busy taking care of everyone else, I don’t have time for myself” “I have not done enough to earn my rest”. Now you may have similar or other mindsets along the lines of not being worthy of having time to yourself. This is false. You cannot continue to give and not be open to receiving. You also can’t give from an empty glass; don’t you have to pour into yourself in order to continually pour out?
You deserve a refill; you are entitled to refill yourself because you’re are the most valuable person to yourself and to those around you <3 Snatcher you deserve it. Snatch your refill!
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5: Only vain people participate in self-care
This is a valid thought and feeling. Only those who worry about themselves preach about self-care and self-love. Self-love isn’t vanity it is sanity. Personally, I am selfish about my self-care time, I am selfish when I need to replenish my soul. I do not take my self-love for granted. I would say people who have lost themselves before and never want to experience that again, or never want to allow it again, participate in self-care. When you love yourself the way you love your first love, your child, your favorite shoes/purses/etc, your significant others. The way you treasure other things and people is how you should treasure yourself. When you treasure yourself, you will realize you are fighting to keep your sanity and peace.
So, no self-care is not for the vain, it is for the ones who snatched themselves out of their dark place. Yes even the ones still looking for a way out. It is for those who are overwhelmed, who are tired, who need a break, who want more, who need more, it is for all those women and more. You are a survivor; it was meant for you.
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6: You don’t know what self-care is and its impact
Shay who doesn’t know about self-care. It is spoken about all over. I never assume because maybe you have heard the saying “When you assume you man an ass out of you(u) and me”. When something is not given to us and taught, we end up not understanding its purpose and influence on our lives. Self-care is spoken about because a lack of self-care leads to self-neglect.
When you think about neglect, what is the first thing that pops into your mind? Possibly “not providing the essentials for a child” “ignoring a person’s needs” “abandonment” and many other terms I am sure you have thought about. Now put self in front of neglect. Have you done this to yourself? Have you abandoned your needs? Have you ignored yourself? Have you failed yourself? It feels heavy, doesn’t it?
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A Trauma Response
Did you know that self-neglect could be a trauma response? Trauma responses relate to your personal experiences. These experiences could be (and not limited to) a loss of a loved one (unexpected/expected), force displacement, political violence, interpersonal trauma, abandonment, and other important life events. Events like these and other things contribute to maladjustment according to Lien and her colleagues at the National Institute of Health (2016). Self-neglect leads to poor social skills, poor self-esteem, unstable relationships, and low resilience. Self-neglect impacts all areas of your life, so the spook is self-neglect not self-care.
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So, I urge you snatchers do not take yourself for granted. You are worthwhile and if nobody has told you today You are amazing, You are loved, You are beautiful, and You will overcome.
If you like this kind of content or have felt this was for you comment below! I love to see discussions in the comments, on my IG feed, or even on twitter and facebook!
Love Shay Moore <3
Reference: Lien, C., Rosen, T., Bloemen, E. M., Abrams, R. C., Pavlou, M., & Lachs, M. S. (2016). Narratives of Self-Neglect: Patterns of Traumatic Personal Experiences and Maladaptive Behaviors in Cognitively Intact Older Adults. Journal of the American Geriatrics Society, 64(11), e195–e200. https://doi.org/10.1111/jgs.14524
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